KevinStirtz.com

“Avoid verbing a noun.”

-Jan Venolia
Author of: Write Right!: A Desktop Digest of Punctuation, Grammar, and Style

“…and they were the yellow of all yellows, the kind of yellow that every other yellow secretly wishes to be.”

-Redmond O’Hanlon

Here’s an easy formula to bring positive change to your life:

D x V x P x B = Change

D = Dissatisfaction (with a current situation or condition)
V = Vision (for how you would like things to be)
P = Plan (actions and strategies to move you toward your vision)
B = Belief (the genuine belief and faith that you can make your vision happen)

(This is similar to both Gleicher’s Formula and the Harvard Change Model but with a twist.)

It works like this:

D = Dissatisfaction (with a current situation or condition)

You decide you are dissatisfied with something. It could be anything. Anything that bugs you, irks you or that you want to change. For example, I’m working on losing weight. My present response to the earth’s gravitational pull is more than I want. It bothers me. I am dissatisfied with it.

V = Vision (for how you would like things to be)

Because of your dissatisfaction, you create a vision of how you would like things to be. This is where you paint a picture. How does your new and improved situation look? How does it feel? Walk around a little and experience the change you want. Then describe it in abundant detail. Be specific and tangible. make it simple to understand and easy to remember.

My vision for weight loss is easy. I step on the scale and it does not laugh at me anymore. Actually, my real vision is it say “180″ when I step on it rather than the current unreasonable value (which, for now, shall remain unpublished, unseen and highly classified).

P = Plan (actions and strategies to move you toward your vision)

The next step is to create your plan to make your vision reality. You can be as detailed or brief as you want. Make it work for you. But a requirement for every plan is action steps. make sure your plan includes actions you can take (right away) to begin moving toward your goal. Some people prefer the actions to be measurable. Some don’t. Some people chart their completion on actions steps. Others won’t. Again, do what works for you. Just be sure your actions steps move you closer to your vision. They should be reasonable, and doable. Or, as my high school running coach used to say, “stretch but don’t pull anything”.

Continuing my weight loss example, my plan includes several items. One is to exercise every day for at east 30 minutes. My wife and already walk the dog and workout at LA Fitness 3 times a week. So these 30 minute sessions would be in addition to those. Plus, I am eating at least 4 servings of fresh fruit or vegetable every day. And I am avoiding junk food, fast food and greasy food. (Too many calories and too much fat.) Finally, I’m watching my daily calorie count.

Notice, not all my plans are measurable. And not all are positive. That’s okay. The only two requirements are that they are doable and they will move you toward your goal. I know some self-help gurus say you need to measure and chart everything and set goals that are positive. There’s nothing wrong with doing that, unless it doesn’t work for you. Like I said before, do what works and forget the rest.

B = Belief (the genuine belief and faith that you can make your vision happen)

Finally, you have to believe you can make the change you want. All the visions and plans in the world are worthless if they’re not followed by action. And people will rarely take action on something without the belief or faith that can do it.

This does not necessarily mean you have all the answers or you know exactly what to do to accomplish your vision. This happens a lot less than most of us admit. Plans are fallible, subject to change because they’re not perfect. But belief (or faith) that is absolute. When you are confident you can do something even though you have no clue how you will do it, then you have belief. And that’s required for making a positive and permanent change in your life.

Remember, change is a process, not a project. It’s an ongoing thing. One I get my weight to 180 I won’t go back to my old ways. By that time I will have developed new habits based on the actions I have taken. Those that fit my life and help me meet my goals will remain. And isn’t that what change is all about?

What do you think? Would this work for you? Are you using this (or something like it) already?

by Kevin Stirtz

Am I missing something? Just how does a picture of a scantily clad Miss USA contestant qualify as a problem when a major part of the pageant involves prancing around wearing barely enough material to fill a letter sized envelope?

Perhaps the people who run these pageants need a reality check.

by Kevin Stirtz

Last night my wife and I went to prom. Not our prom of course. This one was better.  We got to watch our beautiful nieces (one is  a senior, the other a junior) glide down the Grand March looking resplendent. It was quite a sight.

But one thing tainted the evening: Rude people. Here’s what happened.

The gym was as full as it could be. The chairs and bleachers were packed with excited moms, dads, sisters, brothers, friends and the occasional aunt and uncle. We were all there to see the elegant couples walk down the Grand March.

After about a dozen couples completed the march, I noticed something strange. People were leaving! As more and more couples passed by, more and more bleachers became empty. Eventually there was a steady flow of family members walking out of the gym, while the prom couples were still marching down the runway.

Am I the only person who thinks this rude? I wanted to stand up and shout at these cretins. “Sit down and show a little respect.”

These kids had invested a lot into this event. The audience should have honored them by sitting there and enjoying the show. This was an important night for them. As adults (most of whom are parents) these people should know how important it is. That’s why they were there!

I think, sadly, this is a sign of our culture. We have become so focused on our own tiny little worlds we don’t see anything else. We close our minds to anyone outside the rigid little circle we build for ourselves. Perhaps we justify it. “Gotta take care of our own. No one else will”, we tell ourselves as we speed down the highway of life, swerving around others to get where we want to go, regardless of who is in our way; oblivious to how our actions might affect them.

The sad thing is, this limits us. When we concentrate only on ourselves and our little clique, we miss a lot. We miss opportunities to meet new people, make new friends and connect with others around us. When we ignore others, we leave a gaping void in our communities. Even worse, when we do this we show our kids it’s okay. We fail to teach them one of the most important lessons of life: We are here to help others. And to help we must pay attention to, not disregard, those around us.

When the last couple finally strode down the path in the gym, two thirds of the people had left.  I felt bad for the kids.

The good news is they were probably so nervous they didn’t even notice. And they went on to the dance and had a great time. So perhaps they felt no disrespect by these discourteous people.

But that does not make it right. I think it’s awful to walk out in the middle of such a program.

Anyway, that’s one man’s opinion. What do you think? Was it rude of people to get up and leave before the last couple finished? Or is it okay, perhaps because “everyone else did it”? I’d like to hear your thoughts.